


Not Alone

by h_d



Series: Merlin Christmas Fest 2014 [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cold Weather, Curtain Fic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 09:09:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2767607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h_d/pseuds/h_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen discovers a secret about Morgana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Merlin Christmas Fest](http://merlinchristmasfest.tumblr.com/), week 2. This fic was inspired by an image prompt of a picture of hot chocolate with marshmallows, and also by a lyric prompt, "Last Christmas I gave you my heart." (My fic only applies to that lyric alone, and not to the song it's a part of).

It was uncommonly cold for mid-December. By the time Morgana got home, she was shivering. Even more upsetting than her body's involuntary reaction to the cold, though, was the experience of having to conceal her weakness from strangers.

Her stylish leather gloves were far too thin, her red cloche was fashionable but didn't fully cover her ears, her coat was a lightweight wool affair that didn't even reach the bottom of her short skirt, and her hose were made of ordinary nylon. Her sexy black pumps not only left the top of her foot and ankles completely exposed to the cold air, but also made navigating icy city sidewalks a dangerous endeavour. 

Only the hand-crocheted scarf that her girlfriend Gwen had given her last Christmas was at all helpful at keeping her warm. She didn't wear it in the office, of course; Gwen had worked bright red hearts into the pattern, which had made the scarf far too casual to match the rest of Morgana's business wear, not to mention far too personal for any of her co-workers to see. 

As one of the youngest executives in her father's office, she couldn't afford to be thought of as either sentimental or unfashionable. Gwen accompanied Morgana to all of Morgana's work-related events, and Morgana always held her hand and introduced her to others as her partner. She wasn't at all ashamed of Gwen or of Gwen's gifts, but she didn't much like the idea of those outside their closest friends and family knowing the intensity of their feelings for one another.

Morgana loved the scarf completely; she wore it around her neck every day, removing it before she reached the office building and placing it in her handbag, and donning it again as soon she exited her office building and found herself alone on the cold winter streets. The scarf was always with her, even when she couldn't wear it. It was a constant reminder of Gwen's love for her.

Gwen, bless her morning-preschool-teaching heart, was already home when Morgana arrived at their flat. Morgana hurriedly closed and locked the door behind her and spent a moment just leaning against it, letting the warmth seep into her ice-cold body, before she removed her outerwear and shoes.

Morgana wriggled her toes. Even the floor was warm. 

She took a deep breath. The flat smelled like chocolate. Morgana smiled to herself and shook her head. 

"Gwen?" she called.

"In here," Gwen answered.

Morgana removed her blazer and draped it across the back of a dining chair as she made her way to the kitchen. Gwen was stirring a pot on the stove.

"What's this?" Morgana asked.

"Hot chocolate. Remember, I made it for you last winter," she replied. "I bought the ingredients after work today."

Morgana moved behind her and gave her a quick squeeze. "You're so good to me," she said.

"You deserve it. And anyway, maybe I just don't want to cuddle with an icicle," Gwen said, laughing. "I can feel how cold you are right now, even through my clothes."

Morgana stuck her tongue out at her and Gwen laughed again. She looked so cute when she laughed. Morgana dropped a light kiss to her ear.

"I mean, if you would like to cuddle on the sofa tonight, that is," Gwen asked.

Morgana nodded and gently kissed her cheek.

"Oh, there's a bag of mini marshmallows over there with the shopping bags, too. I almost forgot. How could I have forgotten? They were so hard to track down in the store, too," Gwen said.

Morgana found the marshmallows, and while Gwen ladled the hot chocolate into mugs, Morgana changed into her usual after-work outfit of stylish jeans, tight t-shirt, and cardigan. When Morgana returned to the living room, Gwen placed the mugs on the coffee table and went to change into her own nightshirt. 

Gwen had often said that she preferred to be as comfortable as possible for their sofa-cuddling sessions. It was early, but they didn't spend every evening cuddling, since Morgana worked very hard at her father's company and sometimes brought work home with her. Gwen often had to turn down their evening cuddles, as well, since she had extra work to do also; she researched and wrote activity plans for her class, and she took the time on evenings and weekends to call her students' parents to share updates on their children's behaviour or progress.

Morgana blew on the hot chocolate and took a careful sip. The warmth instantly spread all through her. It was delicious, with a hint of some kind of alcohol, as well as a flavour Morgana vaguely thought might be nutmeg. She didn't know for certain, because Gwen insisted that the recipe was a secret. Morgana smiled fondly, draping the blanket they kept on the sofa around her shoulders.

As she sipped the hot drink, Morgana realised that Gwen was taking longer than usual to change out of her clothes. Morgana couldn't guess why. She carefully placed the mug down and headed for their bedroom. 

She found Gwen searching through a dresser drawer.

They wore different sizes in many things, and they certainly had different styles. Still, their clothes had gotten intermingled in the years they'd lived together. Morgana loved it, this sense of sharing so much with the woman she loved. A handful of times, she had even talked Gwen into wearing a few of Morgana's own low-cut blouses to their friends' parties. Morgana loved to kiss the soft swell of her breasts, which often resulted in Gwen climbing into her lap, especially if they'd had a few drinks. Morgana always wore the hand-crocheted scarf to these events, too, and she and Gwen would both twist it between their fingers and gaze adoringly into one another's eyes. Their friends always teased them over these displays, but neither of them cared. 

"Sorry, love. I can't find my lavender nightshirt," Gwen said, when she noticed that Morgana was watching her from the doorway. "Have you seen it lately?"

Morgana laughed. "The last time I saw that nightshirt was just before you whipped it over your head last weekend," she said. "But you had me pinned to the bed with your legs at the time, so I didn't really see where it went."

Gwen giggled. "Maybe it's in the laundry basket," she said. She kept looking through the drawer, Morgana watching her face. 

Gwen's eyebrows furrowed. She pulled out and unfolded a large red garment that Morgana immediately recognised. 

"Oh. Oh no," Morgana said, an ice-cold dread replacing the warmth she'd managed to absorb. She wanted to flee back to the living room, but she knew that Gwen was about to question her. Leaving the bedroom wouldn't prevent the embarrassing conversation that was about to occur.

"Morgana, what's this?" Gwen asked. She sounded very surprised. "Is this....yours? I mean, I know it's not mine, but it can't possibly be yours."

"It's....a union suit," Morgana said. "Woolly combinations. You know."

"I know what it is, but why do you own it? Is it your brother's? I don't think he would wear this, either, though," Gwen said, sounding genuinely puzzled. 

A part of Morgana wanted to seize upon the opportunity to lie and claim that the garment did in fact belong to her brother. But she always tried not to lie to Gwen. Their relationship was the best she'd ever had, and she knew from painful experience that dishonesty was the surest way to ruin trust and love. Her father had taught her that lesson, by raising her yet neglecting to tell her that he was in fact her biological father and not a friend of her dead parents as he'd always maintained. She had spent far too many years after that discovery overcome with rage towards him, and while the heat of her anger had passed, she would never trust him again. 

There was never a good reason at all to lie to Gwen, who truly did love and accept her, and besides, the union suit really was a trivial thing to be ashamed of. 

Morgana sighed. "No, it's mine. I bought it for myself when I first moved into this flat," she said. "I know that my appearance is very....polished. I work very hard on it. But before I met you, I spent my nights alone, and I was always cold in the winter. When I came home from work, I changed into that thing." She gave a short, sardonic laugh. "I always wore heavy fleece pyjamas on top of it, too."

Gwen cocked her head. "But you sleep in those tiny negligees now," she said. "Not that I'm complaining, don't think that, I love them. They're very pretty, and they suit you. It's just that you must be cold. But you don't have to wear them for me. You know that, right? I hope you know that, because—"

Morgana was well aware that when Gwen felt the need to explain a comment that someone could interpret as insensitive in any way, it could take her a very long time to wind down. 

"Yes, I know all that," Morgana interrupted. She moved closer to Gwen and wrapped her arms around her waist, and was gratified when Gwen leaned back against her.

"Then why—"

"I don't need to wear those warm clothes anymore," Morgana said. "Not when I have you here with me."

Gwen turned around. Her smile was kind, and her eyes were shining with affection. She angled her head and kissed Morgana, and the kiss turned passionate right away, Gwen's arms circling Morgana's neck. The rough waffle-weave fabric of the union suit was still clutched between Gwen's fingers, though, and Morgana could feel it scraping the nape of her neck as the kiss deepened.

Morgana pulled away and Gwen's hands fell to her shoulders. She was still holding the union suit. 

"We should burn it," Morgana said. "Like a ritual, to commemorate our love."

Gwen's eyes grew wide and her mouth opened. She pulled completely away from Morgana and unfolded the garment, turning it over in her hands. "But there's nothing wrong with it, Morgana. We should get together all of our old clothes and give them to charity. That could be a ritual of sorts, too." 

"Fine," Morgana said. "But you're taking them there. I don't want any strangers to know I ever owned that thing. I have an image to maintain."

Gwen laughed, flapping her hands in front of her face in her glee. When her laughter tapered off, Morgana kissed her again, her lips, her breasts, even though at the moment they were encased in the pressed linen shirt that Gwen had worn to work. Morgana unbuttoned it slowly, revealing Gwen's white bra, then mouthed at the pendant that hung from Gwen's necklace, which Morgana had given her last Christmas. It was a tiny golden filigree heart, inset with an amethyst, Gwen's favourite stone. Morgana licked and sucked at the hollow of her throat, revelling in Gwen's gasp of pleasure, then returned to her soft lips, slowly licking inside them.

"Mm, you taste like chocolate," Gwen said.

"I suppose I must, due to your amazing hot-chocolate-brewing skills," Morgana murmured against her lips.

Gwen gave her another soft smile, and they removed their own clothes quickly. It was warm in the room, and Morgana didn't mind being naked. Gwen reclined on the bed, one hand propping up her head as her other cupped a full breast. Morgana lay down and faced her, trailing a single finger around the dip of her waist.

"You're so beautiful," Morgana whispered. In Gwen's eyes she could see the sentiment mirrored, but rather than speaking, Gwen reached to pull her close and mouthed at the most sensitive places on Morgana's neck, making Morgana shudder. Morgana didn't like visible hickeys, so Gwen broke the embrace to move lower and suck a mark into the soft skin of Morgana's belly.

"Oh," Morgana let out, arching her back at the sharp pain of the bite. Gwen turned her face to gaze adoringly into Morgana's eyes and rested her head on Morgana's stomach. She reached for Morgana's clit and smiled as she slowly spiralled around it with her index finger, then she moved her other hand to dip a finger inside Morgana's pussy, angling it in just the way Morgana liked. 

"That's so nice," Morgana breathed. "Your mouth, can you use your mouth?"

Gwen's smile grew wider and she fluttered her eyelashes at Morgana playfully. She withdrew both hands and moved to kneel between Morgana's legs. Her pink tongue darted out once, teasing, as she gave Morgana another sultry look. Then Morgana spread her legs wider and Gwen buried her face between Morgana's folds, slowly licking around the hood of her clit and curling two fingers inside her, thrusting them in the same slow rhythm she'd set with her clever tongue. Her other hand rested on Morgana's hip.

Morgana petted Gwen's dark curls, loving the feeling of being adored, never wanting it to end. She took Gwen's free hand in her own and interlaced their fingers. 

She gave herself over to Gwen completely and drifted on a cloud of pleasure so sweet that she lost track of her limbs, of time passing, of everything but her slowly approaching orgasm, the intimacy of the moment, and the delight in her heart. She came with a sharp, wordless cry. When she caught her breath, she tugged on Gwen's hand and pulled her close to kiss her tenderly, tasting herself on her lips. 

Morgana nudged Gwen onto her back and covered her with her body, sucking a nipple into her mouth and rolling it between her teeth. Gwen moaned and Morgana reached to rub her clit. Before very long at all, Gwen was shouting out her own orgasm.

They curled around each other. 

"Love you," she said.

"I love you too," Gwen replied. She sounded relaxed, but she didn't sound sleepy. "Let's put on some clothes and go reheat that hot chocolate, yeah? You said you were up for a cuddle."

Morgana huffed out a laugh. "This is a cuddle," she said.

"No, this is afterglow," Gwen said lightly. She pulled away and stood up from the bed so quickly that a whoosh of cold air hit Morgana, making her shiver a little. Gwen found a pink nightshirt to wear, and Morgana reached for her jeans and t-shirt.

"Wait," Gwen said. Morgana looked up to find Gwen watching her. "Here, wear this instead." 

Gwen was holding out another one of her own nightshirts, this one turquoise with cartoon owls printed on it. Morgana knew it well; she had once earned herself a serious glare from Gwen by teasing her that an extra-tall preschool student must have loaned it to her. 

Morgana looked at her, not sure how to process this request.

"It's only..." Gwen began, then shook her head. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "Morgana, this is our home, right? You never have to worry about dressing up here. Not for me. This is the one place in the world where you can relax. I know it's important to you to look your best, and I do admire that quality in you. But the truth is, I always find you beautiful, no matter what."

Morgana bowed her head. She was naked, but only now did she truly feel exposed. Even after several years together, it still astounded and pleased her to learn just how well Gwen knew her. But would it really be okay with Gwen, if Morgana were just a bit more laid-back at home?

She darted a glance at Gwen's face. Gwen's lips were set firmly and her jaw was held high, an expression which told Morgana that Gwen was not only completely serious, but also willing to argue the point if challenged.

"Thank you, Gwen," she said softly. 

Gwen nodded and left for the living room. Morgana pulled on the owl nightshirt. Gwen didn't wear this one very often, and Morgana had forgotten just how soft it was. She looked at herself in the mirror; the nightshirt was silly, her bun had come loose and flopped gracelessly to the side of her head, and her lipstick was smudged and probably all over Gwen's lips, too. But her eye make-up was still intact. The expression in her eyes startled her—she looked relaxed. Happy. 

When Morgana followed Gwen's path, Gwen was just returning from the kitchen with the same two mugs of hot chocolate, which were steaming again.

"Heated them up in the microwave," said Gwen, scrunching up her nose in distaste. "I have to tell you, it's not ideal for this recipe, although I certainly can't complain about why exactly it got so cold." She quirked a grin at Morgana and set the mugs down on the coffee table.

Morgana reached for hers and savoured the taste as she sipped. "I do love this recipe," she said. "But I don't really need to warm up anymore."

Gwen stretched her legs out and rested her feet on the coffee table, and Morgana rested her own ankles on top of Gwen's. Her skin was still warmer than Morgana's. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a time until Morgana's stomach began to grumble.

"I'm hungry. How about I heat us up a tin of soup?" she said.

"That would be fine. Someday, one of us should learn how to cook," Gwen said.

Morgana shrugged. "As long as you keep making me this hot chocolate, I don't see why," she said.

"You love my hot chocolate, you're smart, funny, good in bed, and you love to cuddle," Gwen said. "You really are the perfect woman for me."

Morgana took Gwen's hand and kissed the back of it, and the cuddling session turned into another round of satisfying lovemaking. When the hot chocolate turned cold again, neither of them minded.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
